These are ACTUAL facebook messages between me and another mom that lives near me. She told me that she DID NOT agree with DOUCHEmom but then recanted her story. It's a VERY funny read if you read the entire story.
Mrs.M:
Oh a few things more to consider with the Montessori,
getting him there in the middle of winter (we are to close for bus service),
Sending him lunch every day and that [DOUCHEmom] is going to be sending [her
son] there. The Parochial school will also reinforce your personal
beliefs and morals, where as the Montessori will not. The parochial school is
also going to be more firmly structured, not to mention you will get to have
concerts etc that the Montessori does not do.
ME:
Like I'm gonna let [DOUCHEmom] dictate what's best for my
child's education? HA! You already told me about everything else last summer so
I was already aware. I have a feeling that [DOUCHEmom] already blocked me from
[a particular] day care. I called [the day care] one day and she was ALL READY
for Mr.N, SCHEDULE AND EVERYTHING and mysteriously at 4:20pm {when DOUCHEmom
picks up HER kid from “said” day care} she said she was full. I
have half a mind to check out this story because she still has a sign saying
she has openings. Pretty sure there's discrimination in there. [DOUCHEmom]
means about as much to me as a pebble stuck in my shoe.
Mrs.M:
oh yeah, i forgot that we talked about it last fall... I
would at least check out this other school before you make a final decision.
ME:
After talking to Mr.N’s grandpa in CO tonight, I've decided
that Mr.N WILL be going to the Montessori for kindergarten and I'll decide his
whereabouts for 1st grade after January 2013. [DOUCHEmom] is sub-human to me
because she is two-faced... Two-faced people are fake and untrustworthy. I'm
sorry that you are friends but only because she confided in me that she was
utterly disgusted that Mr.A (Mrs.M’s child) taught [DOUCHEmom’s kid] "How to light matches" And trust
me... she was REALLY pissed off about that because as she said, she keeps
candles and matches around the house ALL THE TIME.
-[I am purposefully leaving something out here to protect Mrs.M from something
REALLY hateful that DOUCHEmom said about her.]-
I feel bad about finally letting you know about things she's
said about YOU... But I am NOT two-faced therefore, I cannot, in good faith,
keep you in the dark either. [DOUCHEmom]
can say what she wants about me... But whatever untruths she slings at me? I
can sling stupid shit right back at her.
Mrs.M:
I still think you should check out the other school before
you make a final decision, but that's up to you. Oh, don't worry about it.
First of all i was pretty mad about the match thing as well. I didn't know Mr.A
knew how to light a match until then! Secondly,-[I am purposefully deleting again
the very disparaging thing that DOUCHEmom said about Mrs.M]-
ME:
I liked the Montessori because Mr.N
learns in a very non-public school kind of way. I decided a LONG time ago that
I was going to keep Mr.N out of parochial school until 1st grade because it
would save my aunt and uncle money. (My aunt and uncle decided a long time
ago that they wanted to pay for Mr.N’s Christian education) So now that I LIKE
the Montessori, I'm going to send him there for kindergarten. I can make
lunches for Mr.N I don't care about
craft projects because we can do that at home if I really want. The reason why
you keep trying to talk me out of Montessori? That part I can't understand.
I've talked about every part that you brought up last summer and recently with his
grandpa and we've both decided that the Montessori is right for Mr.N.
Mrs.M:
oh, i'm not trying to talk you out of it! I'm sorry if it
came across that way, I was simply bringing up the points about it that i had
thought about when deciding about sending Mr.A there. I actually cried about
the concert thing (no clue why, must have been a hormonal day). I didn't
realize you were set about Kindergarten being non parochial, which is why i was
pushing to visit the other school before you made up your mind.
(no reply from me at this point… I thought this conversation was pretty much
over at this point… But wait for it…
wait for it… This next part is EPIC!)
Mrs.M:
I feel like, I should be completely honest with you, you are
a good person and I respect you. Yet I have to say that I mostly agree with [DOUCHEmom].
Now I think things could have and should have been handled much better than
they were, but that is a moot point now. Please read this to the end before you
pass your judgment.
I feel you should be out there much more with Mr.N, I know
that you trust him, but is it wise to implicitly trust a 5 year old to always
do the right thing and stay out of trouble? I understand why you do not come
out now,
(OH! YOU MEAN BECAUSE DOUCHEmom TOLD ME TO NEVER COME OUT BACK ANYMORE
BUT YOU [MRS.M] SAID YOUR CHILD WOULD BE CRUSHED IF HE COULD NOT PLAY WITH MY CHILD
ANYMORE?)
but then should Mr.N really be out there with you not watching him?
Because it is now left to at least me to watch him, you say that we are not
expected to do so, but what else are we supposed to do when he gets mean or is
a brat?
(hmmmmmm.. pretty sure you said you didn't JUDGE me and WANTED Mr.N to play with his "friends" behind our house.)
Just ignore it? Pretend like he did not just run into a kid with a
bike, or smack them in the face just because you are not around? (LIKE THEIR
CHILDREN HAVE NOT DONE THE EXACT SAME THINGS TO MR.N?) None of our kids are
perfect, but Mr.N does have some problems. He still comes up to our sliding
door and stares into the house,
*Mr.A does THE EXACT SAME THING AT OUR HOUSE!!! YOU'LL READ ABOUT IT LATER!*
and if the door is open but the screen is shut
he pesters to come inside, even after being told no and being asked politely to
go away. If he knocks on the door and we don’t answer, he tries the glass door,
and keeps going between the two doors until someone tells him to go away..
*Pot, kettle, black... Mr.A does the EXACT same thing to our patio door*
For
Gods sake [she's atheist, so that's funny to me, lol] 3 year old [New kid, Mr.C] taps him (Mr.N) and he falls to the ground screaming
and crying.
(refrain judgment on this one until you read my next message) He constantly whines and cries the second he
doesn’t get his way then he becomes violent,
(ooooooo! Violent? You mean he's starting to try and kill other kids!?! Damn! I really DO need to watch him more!)
hitting and pushing and kicking (yes they all do but you aren’t around to check that in him). I don’t like the
way [my child, Mr.A] behaves after he has been around Mr.N. He starts doing the
same whining crying that Mr.N does all the time.
(this is the child that WAILS
at the top of his lungs after he gets hurt from starting sword fighting games
with other kids)
When you are out there and he does something bad, all you do
is shriek at him and give empty threats until he has worn you down and you
can’t take it anymore and drag him inside. The whole town doesn’t want or need
to hear you screaming at your kid. *The truth comes out RIGHT HERE*>>>You are right, I don’t want Mr.N going to
Montessori, because I don’t want Mr.A around him all day everyday at least
until he gets a handle on his social emotional issues. I also don’t think it is
the right environment for Mr.N (at this point everything that she is pointing
out about my child is more than laughable so I’ll leave my commentary OUT!)
given these social emotional problems, I personally feel that a more structured
environment would greatly benefit him. But that is not a decision for me to
make. Who knows, maybe Montessori will be really good for him and help him too.
I’m sorry that I lied about not trying to talk you out of Montessori, but I
felt guilty after you asked, and I’ve been feeling awful all day, and like you
telling me the things that [DOUCHEmom] said, I feel like you deserve the truth as
well. As I stated before, none of the kids are perfect and they all have their
own issues and problems, Mr.A (her child) has issues expressing Anger, but I
try to always be around to help stop him from hitting or kicking etc.. I know
that we as parents can’t always stop every action but we at least have to try.
I respect you , and I know that you are a good person with a good heart. I also
know that it is extremely difficult being a single mom with an abusive past. [Referring
to the fact that I am a survivor of Domestic Abuse] I have tried to avoid any
sort of confrontation, as the mere thought of hurting someone else makes me
feel ill, even when that person and I share very different views and beliefs.
There, now you know my feeling on the matter, and I am sorry for hurting you. I
am so sorry for causing you pain, I do consider you a friend, and for that
reason I had to send this to you, because you deserve the truth. Lying to try
to protect your feelings and my own is wrong and will only hurt you further.
ME: (truth, truth, truth & truth)
Did you know that Mr.A (even just on Friday) comes to our
patio door and knocks softly at 1st and eventually starts pounding when he
doesn't get a speedy response? Friday was the 1st time we've been home in
months so it makes me wonder how many times this has happened. If Mr.N has been
coming up to your patio door, I'm sorry, I have told him not to but I guess
since Mr.A does it over here on a VERY regular basis without me saying anything,
Mr.N probably thought it was ok. I find it VERY ironic that you would say that
you don't like the way Mr.A acts after being around Mr.N. Have you and
[DOUCHEmom] spoken about this, because she said the EXACT same thing about [her
child] after being around [your child]. I had to go back and read that part
twice because I felt like I was having deja vu.
I am BY FAR not the ONLY guilty party when it comes to empty
threats but I vow now to be the only person to start carrying out the threats
of going inside. I can't believe you would even bring up "empty
threats" when you are just as guilty about them as I am. YUP! I'm a
yeller. My mom was a yeller and now I am a yeller. Habits like that are so
tough to break but I was well aware of it long before you brought it up.
I witnessed Mr.N’s problems with [New kid, Mr.C] from the get-go. He was upset
when [the little guy] ran away with something Mr.N was playing with and I
emphatically told him that Mr.C didn't know any better and he was to let it go.
The new mom, was stern in saying, no!
it's not ok, and I'm sure Mr.N picked up on that. Crying and whining about it
are SURELY NOT the ways to handle things like that. But neither is wailing at
the top of your lungs.
Mr.N is the 1st person to share new toys. Hell, someone road his new bike
before he even did simply because they asked when we got home with it. He
understands that it IS his and he'll be the one keeping it so he could care
less if someone plays with something of his, new or not.
I get that you think no one kid is perfect but can you honestly go back and
read the entire message you sent me and put [your child] in place of Mr.N on
EVERY scenario you placed to me? I know I did.
I will be outside whenever Mr.N is from now on. I will not be over by you
because, unlike you, I can't stand the two-faced nature of [DOUCHEmom]. She
makes me sick to my stomach thinking about her. There is no respect or
friendship between us like I thought. You only seem to affirming that
[DOUCHEmom] was right when she said that [BITCHmom’s] insane bad attitude
towards me is indeed shared by all. I should have known better than assume you
were telling the truth about the fact that you told me you DIDN'T share their
points of view when it came to me and my child.
I've never seen Mr.N rip of an article of clothing off another child and run
away laughing [like DOUCHEmom’s kid did] & I've never seen Mr.N bring a toy
outside and not allow another child to even touch it let alone play with it.
Yes, Mr.N has A LOT of learning to do about social interactions but he has NO
MORE or NO LESS learning than ANY child that lives in the vicinity. You said no
one was perfect but you need to realize that Mr.N is not the ranked highest
where bad behavior is concerned. From what I've witnessed they're ALL as guilty
as Mr.N.
Mrs.M
Oh i agree entirely that Mr.A has just as much to learn as
Mr.N does, just in different areas, like sharing his toys, dealing with anger
and realizing that in sharing his toys he will get them back. I think part of
that problem stems from the time we lived in my parents basement and all the
toys available were not his and he didn't get to keep anything. We are working
on it. I do realize that a lot of these behaviors are age related and that the
ones that arent you are well aware of. My point of the message was to inform
you of the things that bother me ( no i did not confer with [DOUCHEmom] about
any of it). I would like to know the things that bother you as well, so that i
can be fully aware of them and try harder to curb them. I was not aware of Mr.A’s
pounding on your door. I wish you would have told me sooner so i could have
made sure he didn't do it anymore. We as parents are not perfect and it helps
to know what bothers people so we can reassess how we react. Please understand
that i do not hate or dislike you. Yes, there are things that i dislike, but it
is not you or Mr.N. Mr.N is a good kid, and is very sweet.
ME:
I just think I'm being unfairly AND overly judged and I
can't wrap my brain around "Why me?" There's a mob mentality going on
here and as much as you tried to sugar coat it there is no one standing up for
the good things about me & my child, just A LOT of nasty
"behind-the-back" talk. I'd like to see how ANY of you would fair if
you were constantly being scrutinized, ridiculed and singled out. I said what I
said about Mr.A because you were pointing out things about MY child that I've
seen every other child be guilty of, but I'm NOT going to make a list of things
that other people do that annoy me. It's not only hurtful but it would be chock
full of inconsistencies because if you did something that annoyed me, it's VERY
possible that it's just me. I can't say that you do a single specific thing to
me that annoys me. The fact that you call me a friend on facebook messages and
shun me in public isn't annoying, it's hurtful and mean. Honestly the only
thing that REALLY annoys me is people that clip their finger nails in public.
HA! If people do that do I run up and tell them so? No, just because it annoys
me, it could be totally acceptable to someone else. Calling someone out on my
personal pet-peeve will just make look silly and judgmental.
Mrs.M:
FYI Ms.N (a delightful woman who has no kids, but also lives
in our area) has Shingles so unless Mr.N has had Chicken pox, he (and all the
kids) should keep their distance from her.
-end conversation-
WTF???? ALL of my last message was replied to by saying someone has shingles?!? No "I'm sorry. That was pretty shitty of me." No admission of guilt whatsoever? I swear I live around the most unmoral group of people EVER!
Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are. – John Wooden
