Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Screw Unicorns & Rainbows! I’m going to talk about what I really want to…


I am well aware that there is someone "trolling" my page...  but I'm still going to talk about the things I originally wanted to talk about.  I refuse to let one person dictate the truths that I have to tell.

    After BOB had me completely under his control, he started breaking plans with me 75% of the time.  He had me on a very short leash when he wanted me, and left me drowning when he had no need for me.  Later ALL the truths surfaced about the other women he had in his life when he would break plans with me.  Finally, it was his "friends" that told me of his extra-curricular activities.  They confided in me, expressing their utter disgust in what BOB was doing behind my back and never ONCE did any of these "friends" express that they wanted to date me.  I know now that they absolutely thought I was a sweet, meek, stupid girl who truly needed to have an educated point of view on how BOB treats women.  They just saw me as an over trusting person who they KNEW was being taken advantage of.  One night, BOB's best friend took pity upon me and invited me to go out to the bars with him and some of BOB's friends.  So here I was at a bar with all of his "friends" actually having a good time.  They wanted to take me out & show me that I could have a great time without BOB.  They also wanted to let me know some truths, from them, that I wouldn't have a CLUE about otherwise.  Somehow, this night, BOB figured out where we were & what his "friends" were up to.  BOB came up to our table and asked straight out if I was f**king ALL of his friends.  I remember ALL of us laughing hysterically at his statement.  One of his "friends" said, "Are you THAT much of an idiot that you would think that?!?"  After that, I could see that BOB felt VERY stupid and he tried to play it off as if he were kidding.  He sat down and acted as if nothing he said before had mattered.  I could tell that his "friends" were "put off" about him being there.  I remember one of his "friends" even saying bluntly, "What are you doing here? Nobody wants you here."  BOB laughed (as if Justin was joking) and wouldn't you know it... I felt bad for him.  *UGH... thinking back now.* They kept berating him for the next hour at least and all it did ultimately, was make me feel bad for him.  I guess I can blame this on the control methods he already had in place on me.  When the night was over, I found myself going home with BOB and apologizing to him for going out with his friends in the first place.  I remember feeling TERRIBLE.  I felt like I had ultimately betrayed him in the worst possible way just for being at the bar with his "friends" without him.

    Two weeks later it was Christmas.  I decided to forego the festivities in my hometown because BOB told me he was going to be all alone at Christmas.  AAAAAWWWWW!  How could I leave town to see my family when my dear sweet boyfriend was going to be completely ALONE!  I asked him, “Why aren’t you going to be with you mom… since you’ve finally re-connected with her, after you helped her move?”  BOB explained that since he had helped her move, they have had ANOTHER “falling out.”  On Christmas Eve, I went to my sister’s house.  She was 100% PISSED OFF at me when I explained, after our prime rib dinner, that I had to go back home to be with BOB because he was “all alone”.  So I went anyway.  What choice did I really have after all?  I went to some random house party with BOB that night… feeling stupid that I had left my sister’s house for such an idiotic alternative.  Christmas morning rolls around…  I’m at my house with ALL my roommates gone to be with their families.  My sister keeps calling me to find out if she needs to pick me up to go to her “in-laws” house for Christmas Day festivities, like I had done all the prior years.  The only thing I could keep telling her was that, “BOB hasn’t answered his phone & I can’t leave without him, because he’s all alone.”  Waiting… Waiting… Waiting…  The 1st couple phone calls to BOB were answered with, “I’ll be there soon”, “Just a little while yet. I’m taking care of some things.”, “Why do you keep calling me?  I’ll be there when I can!”  The next phone call was EPIC!  He answered with, “I’m at f**king TARA’s mom’s house!  She is my girlfriend and she REALLY wants you to stop calling me here!”  (if you remember from my previous blog post, TARA was the girl that called me in the middle of the night from BOB’s phone… He explained that she was “psycho”) At this point, I said “HOLY SHIT!  Fine... We Are Done! Please do not call me again… EVER!  I want nothing to do with you!”  BOB agreed, he said he wanted nothing to do with me either & this was “good-bye.”  I was sad and alone, knowing BOB ultimately alienated me from my family this particular Christmas… so I put “ELF” into the dvd player and tried to cheer myself up.  Two hours later, just as ELF was over, there was a knock at my front door.  Completely unaware of whom it could be, I walked over and opened it.  IT WAS BOB!  He explained that EVERYTHING he said to me over the phone was a LIE!  He only said those things to make TARA feel better, He was with TARA because her family wanted him there…  But he didn’t mean ANYTHING he said to me on the phone.  He LOVED me!  & I was the only person he truly cared about… period.  [to be continued]

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